MY 1ST SWIM... AFTER 28 YEARS.

Today... I swam...

I swam for the 1st time...or rather... its the 1st time of countless times i swam... I felt I really did swim.

So how I did...a good 5 laps...it was the best... its was an experience.

I was so happy... I came home smiling and close to tears...

MY EXPERIENCE:

When I reached the pool...I was down filled with alot of anger accumulated the last few days...
I hated the thought people could be looking at me... and yes some were...
"look at this fat chick scrolling by to swim?" well... i assumed.
negativity was swimming in my mind...

But I just didn't care... I angered the world so much I just wanted to do what I felt I wanted...

Choice between 2 pools...

OR

I took of my black kimono robe... and I went into the open pool instead of the competition pool.

As I enter the pool... there were couples... and some other human beings.

I just dove into a swim. I wanted to do 5 laps...that's just hit me.

While swimming just merely a few breath of air... I questioned... "Crap! Can I do this? normally can't even do 1 lap properly!"

I was so angry.... I just DID IT... cos I think I can!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I didn't gave a thought abt anything else...

As I reach my 1st half of the lap... I was breathless and still anger...cos I JUST WANT TO DO IT.

moving back to finish my 1st lap...I thought " I'm so near yet so far to my very 1st lap...why stop? I tired... but not dying... I can do this... "

I started to ...THINK... RELATED...TO MY FEELINGS AND THOUGHTS...MYSELF. I was rushing to the end of the pool...

when I reached the end of my 1st lap..." F***!"...( sorry I can't help it.) I WAS BREATHLESS

I breathe... and wondered... again..."5 laps? can meh?"

"heck lah... just lai lah!"... I continued... this time... I just looked straight ahead...

And my focus was to finish this 2nd lap...

As I swim... I felt it seems easier... like... not as hard than the 1st lap...

but I started to bump into people who cross paths with me...

I got distracted about the people swimming next to me...

Every time I look and wondered about others or when someone accidentally brushed my feet or arm...I PANIC... I SLOW DOWN...

but i did finish my 2nd lap..." YES!" ....

i went on to my 3rd lap... it got so much easier...I knew the way of my BIG body to swim better...

I finished it with ease...* smiled *

then I took a short break.... it lasted 10 mins...

why? my left foot got cramp.... crap!

it was pretty bad... and I was afraid if I con't to swim... I will stop half way and panic...maybe drown... worse... no one is strong enough to help me from the pool... so i just massaged my foot in the pool for a while...

the cramp was still there... and I really wanted to finish what I decided... 5 laps...i mean it meant quite a bit to me cos I never did 1 lap properly mah... and since I did 3 laps already... it will be damn wasted and disappointed...

I just did it... I did my 4th lap... it was a bit painful for my left foot... but I just went ahead and decided not to think much abt it... but maybe swim slowly and steady...

As I looked forward... the pain seem to go away... and I just con't... slow and steady...

As i swam... I moved away a bit as I see on coming human traffic coming by or crossing... but went back on track to the end...i never stop at all

in the end...I FINISH...BOTH 4TH AND 5TH LAP...

NON STOP...

I wasn't breathless... in fact I wanted to go on... but my goggles snapped...

you see my speedo goggles were with me since 2004... and it obvious it snapped.... it never had such intensive workout with me before...

I smiled and i left... this time... I walked alone... didn't give a crap if anyone looked at me.... don't think they did...

i was just beaming with pride... i knew what i did ... and i woke me up...

REALISATION= CHANGE.

I dedicated this song everyone... and to you. I WISH YOU All the best...you know who you are.

MAMA G